Sunday, August 10, 2008


This post is a little more personal. My grendma is dying and I had to say goodbye to her before I moved. It was the hardest goodbye I've faced in this life. I love my grendma and will miss her tremendously!

It's a different smell now. From steamed peas and carrots, board games, dress up clothes and paper dolls to illness, bandages, bodies in beds for days. It's a different smell but I almost love it more. It's a sympathetic more. Her faces is paler and her eyes more sunken. She's just a skeleton with skin on. When she sleeps her mouth drops open and if she didn't make an occassional snore, I would think she was dead. While this body of her's is slightly unfamiliar her soul within is unwaivering and I love her more. She's holding on but tries to hide it by saying thins like, "don't ever wish to be old." She's tougher than she let's on and she's always been that way. I think she's afraid of missing this life of her's; afraid she'll miss out on another great grandchild's birth or a huge family event. But she won't really miss out on those things. She'll always be there and I will always love her more. So go on Grendma, just let go. You won't be left behind. We'll never forget you and we'll always, always love you.


Margaret said...

Very moving Janet. Goodbyes are the hardest thing I think we ever have to face in this life.